Sample Sunday October 2 Love Thy Neighbor

Today's sample is part of a fun Halloween short.

Katy Ross and Missy North

present

The 2011 Halloween Costume Party

The Most Killer Party of the Year

October 31

8493 Silver Dollar Lane

8p.m.

No children allowed

“You will come, won't you JoAnn?” asked Katy, JoAnn's neighbor. JoAnn looked at Katy and was reminded again of that woman in those 70’s Vidal Sassoon commercials. The tall, lean woman with the long silky black hair. The hair JoAnn had always dreamed of having instead of her own stringy blond. On top of that Katy’s skin was so perfect it seemed unreal. JoAnn really wanted to ask what kind of makeup she used but was afraid the response would be none. And it just wasn't fair to be so effortlessly perfect.

“Yes, you will, right?” said Missy, JoAnn's deceivingly southern belle-like other neighbor. Missy was, well, Missy. Physically she was easy to describe, of course. She was quite petite, not an inch over five feet and not a pound over one hundred, with waves of thick brown hair and large hazel eyes. But to describe her personality, that was difficult. At first, she seemed the picture of a southern lady, all soft spoken and sweet. But two weeks ago JoAnn heard her tell Sam, who lives around the corner, that if his dog poops on her yard one more time, she would cut him. And from the way he scrambled off, he seemed to believe her. Maybe it was just because she was holding a freshly sharpened pair of yard trimmers, or maybe it was because she just seemed quite serious. There was no doubt she knew how to use garden tools, pruning away at the bushes like they had offended her by daring to grow out of sync.

No, there was definitely something more to Missy, thought JoAnn.

“We are so sorry for the late notice but, we forgot you didn't live here when the invitations were mailed.”

“But I've lived here for two months. How early do these invitations go out?” JoAnn asked. JoAnn and Jay had barely opened the first box when Missy and Katy had showed up at their door. Katy lived to the right and Missy to the left. They brought a basket of treats, asked a few general questions, then left with a promise of getting together when they were more settled.

After watching them walking back and forth between their respective homes nearly every day JoAnn bit the bullet and invited them over. But after that morning of coffee and gossip they'd hardly spoken to her, despite JoAnn's attempts to get together. She'd replayed the conversation in her head for weeks, trying to figure out what had gone wrong. I mean sure, it was painfully obvious they didn't have much in common; Katy ground her own flour for goodness sake! Who did that? But JoAnn was a live and let live kind of person. They were neighbor's after all. They should be looking out for each other.

“This is the party of the year! We send these invitations out four months ahead of time.”

“Though it's hardly necessary. No one would miss one of our parties,” Missy said, laughing. Katy put her arm around her and they laughed together.

“You don't have plans, do you?” Katy asked.

“Nothing you can't change, anyway, right? I mean this is the neighborhood party. You can't miss the neighborhood party!”

“No. No, we don't have any plans. I just...it's going to be hard to come up with a costume on such short notice. I mean, today is Halloween.”

“Oh, you can come up with something. I'm sure it will be fine,” Katy said, patting JoAnn's hand.

“Well, we have to go. Lots of preparing to do. See you tonight.” And off they went, arm in arm, not an easy feat considering the height difference.

********************

“Look at this,” JoAnn said, handing Jay the invitation. “Katy and Missy caught me outside. They apologized for the late notice. Said we weren't here when the invitations were mailed.”

“Weren't here? Well, how early did they send the invitations?”

“Four months. It's the party of the year,” JoAnn said in a poor imitation of Missy's light southern accent.

Jay laughed. “Sounds like a big deal.” He looked right at her. “Sounds just like what you've been waiting for.”

“Yes, it does,” Jo Ann smiled. “I am surprised though. They’ve been giving me the cold shoulder since we had coffee that morning.”

“Ever figure out what that was about?” Jay said.

“Nope,” JoAnn said shrugging.

“Well, what does it matter anyway? They're a little...”

“Little what?”

“Intense if you ask me. I was out washing the car the other day and they both came up asking me all kinds of questions.”

“Questions?”

“Yeah, like how did I like the neighborhood? Was my job working out? Did I think we would be staying here very long?”

JoAnn laughed. “They're just trying to make small talk.”

“It wasn't the questions. It was their tone. I don't know. They’re just...”

“Intimidating? Yeah, they come on pretty strong. The only time Katy speaks to me is to give me recipes, even though I told her I don't like to cook. And Missy gave me the name of her yard guy.”

“So?”

“Three times.”

“Oh. Maybe she's forgetful.”

“Well, at least they invited us. This will give us a better chance to all get acquainted. But what about costumes? The party's tonight. Oh, I'll bring some of those TGIF appetizers. You know, they sell them in the frozen section now.”

********************

“JoAnn, what an interesting costume,” Missy said. “Katy! Katy! Come over here.”

Despite the crowd, Katy had no trouble hearing Missy and came right over.

“Well, isn't that...interesting,” Katy said.

“That's just what I thought,” Missy said.

“I just threw it together,” JoAnn said, laughing.

“Yes, I see. Now what are you exactly?” Missy asked, giving JoAnn the once over.

“I'm Jay. See the pocket protector, the glasses. I mean, I'm not really Jay, but an exaggeration. You know, the stereotypical computer geek. Though what does it say that he had all this stuff just laying around?” JoAnn laughed again.

Katy and Missy exchanged a look.

“But, wow, you guys look amazing,” JoAnn said. “Where did you find such elaborate costumes?”

They were both wearing witch costumes. Not like the bad witch in the Wizard of Oz either. No, No. These were a fabulous display of black velvet lined with silk, red for Katy and purple for Missy; tall pointed hats with delicate lace draped down to their shoulders. And makeup that only enhanced their natural beauty; no green face with strategically placed warts for them.

“Find?” Katy said.

“We made them, of course. Like we do every year,” Missy said.

“Sounds like a lot of work. You know the price has come way down on costumes lately. You can pick them up for like twenty bucks now. Plastic, easy to clean.”

“Twenty...” Katy said. Missy grabbed her hand and squeezed. They did that a lot. “Yes, yes. But we enjoy the process. Now where is Jay?”

“He’s coming,” JoAnn said looking back toward the door. “Oh, there he is.”

“Where is his costume?”

“He’s dressed as Jay also,” JoAnn said laughing. “Sorry, costumes just aren’t his thing.”

“Not his thing!” Katy said.

“And what are these?” Missy said quickly, changing the subject again.

“Oh,” JoAnn said holding out the tray she'd brought, “they are those little TGIF quesadillas. Have you seen them before? In the freezer section. I just love them. Friday dinner has never been so easy, huh!”

“Oh my God-”

“You didn't have to do that JoAnn,” Missy said, cutting Katy off mid sentence, “we have all the food taken care of already.”

“Oh, it was no trouble. Really,” JoAnn said holding out the tray. “I know you guys make food all the time, what with an organic food business. You know I didn't realize you two were the owner's of Cassie's All Natural Pies until just two weeks ago.

“Well, thank you. I'll just put it over here,” Missy said taking the tray and placing it in the butler's pantry.

“How about a drink?” Katy said.

“The adult magic words,” JoAnn said. “I’d love one.” She took the skeleton hand cup from Katy and tried a sip.

“Mmm what is this? Kool-Aid and vodka? No, tequila?”

Katy choked on her drink. “Are you making a joke? This is a blackberry thyme margarita. The thyme is from my garden and I hand crush the blackberries. It’s all natural.”

“Well it's good,” JoAnn said, taking another drink. “Maybe a little sugar would sweeten it up a bit. Oh, I see Eliza's here. I'm going to go say hello.”

“Kool-Aid...really...” JoAnn heard Katy say under her breath to Missy.

“Don't worry. It will all be over soon,” Missy replied softly.

********************

You can find the rest of this fun story for free on Smashwords

#FlashFriday The Hundred Dollar Bill

The Hundred Dollar Bill

“Dude I can't cash this.”

“What?” said Jeff.

“I can't cash a hundred -it's a cup of coffee for Christ's sake,” the barista said shoving a hundred dollar bill at him.

“A hundred?” Jeff said confused. Where the hell would he get a hundred? He barely had the ten he put in his pocket every Thursday night. He hadn't even looked at the guy when he handed him the bill. Jeff searched his pockets for the ten, but came up empty.

“But...it's all I've got.”

“Sorry,” the barista said, not looking sorry at all.

“Fine,” he said, taking back the hundred, “forget it.”

Every Friday for the last year Jeff bought a vanilla latte, grabbed a paper, and paid to ride the bus to work. He looked forward to it every week. Instead of a reheated cup of the swill his wife called coffee, and a carpool with a bunch of grouchy men with hangovers, he had twenty minutes of peace.

Where the hell did this hundred come from? he thought, walking toward the bus stop, until he realized he had no money for the bus. They required exact change or a pass, neither of which he had.

Well, this sucks, he thought irritated at this disruption in his routine. And now I'm going to be late for work. He weaved in and out of the crowds of people as fast as possible but still didn't make it until eight forty. Forty minutes late.

What a start to my weekend. No coffee, no quiet ride to work, half an hour late. Of all the times to find a hundred! Why couldn't it have been last Friday at the bar? Never thought I'd wish for less money.

Wish for money...the thought lingered. What was it about that saying.? Oh, the fountain. He'd been so drunk he'd forgotten until now. His buddy Bill had won five thousand dollars with a quick pick lotto ticket and they all went out to celebrate. Jeff thought Bill would at least buy a round, especially since he was the one who had insisted they go to a fancy hotel bar instead of their usual dive.

“Somewhere the drinks aren't watered down and the waitress ain't a grandma,” he'd said. So they'd gone. But that cheap bastard didn't pay for a thing. Stupid overpriced beers. His tab had cleaned him out. Didn't even have money for a cab. His wife had to come get him. While he was waiting he'd thrown a penny in the lobby fountain and wished for more money.

But that's crazy! There's no such thing as a wishing well.

“Keats is looking for you,” Jeff's coworker, Robert said, interrupting his flashback.

“Of course he is.”

“You getting in on the football pool or what? Today's the last day.”

“That's right!” he said reaching into his left pocket. He'd put an extra ten in his left pocket for the football pool. Today was the last day to get in. But that ten was gone as well.

Hey, can I catch you after lunch?” Jeff said. What the hell was going on? What happened to his cash?

Wishing well...

Wishing well...

No! It couldn't be! There's no such thing as a wishing well. Was there?

But what if...what if there were...he could go back...make a real wish...

C'mon focus!

Maybe he could run out at lunch and break the hundred.

But he couldn't. Keats caught up with him. “Hope you brought your lunch because your working through it today. Unless you want to make up the half hour tomorrow, at regular pay, not overtime.”

So no coffee, no bus ride to work, no lunch, and no football pool! Where the hell did that hundred come from? This is crazy. There was no such thing as a wishing well.

But...where else would it come from? Money didn't magically appear out of nowhere, right?

What if...what if...

It would solve everything...

What would it hurt to try? Just stop by and make a wish...

I could swing by tonight. It was Friday, just like last time.

By the time his shift ended he had decided he would do it. He would go back to the bar and make a real wish. It was crazy, but where else could the money have come from? When he was able to catch a a ride home with some guy who'd stayed just the ten minutes late Jeff needed, and happened to be heading Jeff's direction, he just knew his luck was changing.

He walked into his house with a big smile on his face.

“Hey baby,” his wife said when he walked in. “You must have found my little surprise?”

“What surprise?” he said hanging up his coat.

“The hundred dollars. I put it in your pocket when I got back from Bingo last night. I won two hundred dollars and thought I would share the wealth. You know, brighten up your day a bit.”

Like this short?  Now all my flash fiction is available in one book, Starved.  Available at all ebook retailers. 

Not Exactly Flash Fiction Part 1

I was going to post this on my blog this week but other promoting took precedence.  So then I realized there is something called Flash Friday where you post flash fiction and I thought Great, I'll post it Friday.  Then I discovered Flash Fiction is supposed to be less that 1000 words (though I never got a confirmation on that).  So I am going to post half the story Friday and the other half Saturday.  Then cheat and use the whole think for Sample Sunday.  You can let me know in the comments if you like this way or would rather have the whole story all at once.  I'm experimenting here so really let me know.  Here is the first half of 

Never Bring This Up Again:

I always knew someday I would kill somebody. I knew it like I knew I wouldn’t like peas or broccoli before I ever tasted them. I’m not a bad person, just felt I had it in me.

So, like a dumb ass, I let it slip to my buddy, Bob, one night when we were drunk. Well, maybe drunk isn’t a strong enough word. We were wasted off our asses. At least I was. I didn’t even remember telling him ‘till he brought it up a few days later.

We were just sitting in The Bar (The Bar not requiring a name since it was the only one in town). We were sitting at what may as well have been our table since we were here so frequently. And he just throws it out there. I’m talking about getting ready for football to start and he just blurts it out.

“So, when you gonna kill somebody?” he asked.

“What? What the hell are you talking about?”

“You told me you were sure someday you’d kill somebody.”

“When did I say that?”

“When we were drinking the other night.”

I laughed. “What night? We’re here every night.”

“Saturday. Don’t you remember?”

“As a matter of fact I don’t remember. I do remember wishing I was dead for the first half of Sunday though.”

“Well, you said it.”

A few flashes of that night came back but I wanted to stop this now. “Whatever man,” I said and went to get another round.

But he wouldn’t let it go. He bought it up at least once every time we were drinking. He just kept asking me when I was gonna do it. Finally, one night, I’d had enough.

“Why can’t you let this go? I was drunk. I don’t even remember saying it.”

He glanced around the bar without moving his head. “Do you really think you could do it? Kill someone, I mean?”

“I don’t know?” But I knew. “Why?”

“We’ve been friends a long time, right?”

“Right,” I said, wondering where this was going.

“There’s someone I want killed.”

“What?”

“There’s this guy. He’s sleeping with my wife. I want you to kill him.”

“Is this your idea of a joke?”

“I’m serious man.”

I took a long drink of my beer. Then I leaned close and looked him right in the eye. “You listen to me and you listen good. I am not a killer,” I emphasized each word with a poke to his chest, “I know we’ve been friends a long time but enough is enough.” I threw a twenty on the table and gave him my best tough guy look, “Never, ever bring this up again.”

The truth is, I was tempted. That’s why I had to end this right now. Cold blooded murder just isn’t the way I thought it would go. It had to be someone who deserved it. And no one could ever find out it was me.

But he just wouldn’t let it go. I guess my best tough guy was more John Denver than John Wayne. And it got worse.

“Okay,” he said one night, “it’s not just some guy sleeping with my wife.”

“What’s not?” I was distracted by the half naked woman playing pool at the far end of the bar.

“The guy I want you to kill.”

I reluctantly looked at Bob. “Oh my God! I told you-“

He leaned in, “I know what you told me,” he whispered, “but this is serious.” Again he looked around the bar, “I didn’t want to give you the real reason cause I thought you wanted to do it, but since you won’t I gotta tell you the truth.”

“Does this truth have anything to do with why you’re acting like this?”

“Acting like what?”

“Your leg is bouncing like it’s on hot coals and every time someone walks in here you jump.”

“Huh?”

“Never mind,” I leaned back and shrugged like I didn’t care, “So, what’s the truth?”

“They’re plotting to kill me.”

“Who?”

“My wife and Tommy.”

“What makes you think that?”

“I don’t know. I just feel it,” he said.

“You’re being ridiculous.”

“No man. They really are.”

“Then get a divorce,” I said.

“That’ll just speed them up. They want me gone and they want the insurance money.”

“Then cancel your insurance. Now quit asking me before I kill you instead.” I returned to watching the pool game.

He sat back resigned. For the night anyway. I have to admit my curiosity was piqued. I knew the guy he was talking about. Tommy Hinks, kind of a low life, new in town, and seriously lacking in personal hygiene. I couldn’t picture Bob’s wife sleeping with him. Sue was beautiful, in a small town kind of way. Blond, blue eyed, soft in all the right places, but a little naïve and self absorbed. In a big city she would be pretty, but in this small town well, let’s just say, if she wanted to cheat, there was a line of men a lot better than Tommy that would jump at the chance.

So no, I didn’t believe Bob’s story. But just to be sure, I followed Tommy for about a week. I figured people having an affair would meet at least once a week. Bob thought I was avoiding him. Following Tommy was pretty easy since worked the same hours as me. Plus, Tommy’s not the brightest bulb on the tree. Bob was excited when I finally met him at the bar, but for the wrong reason.

“So you’ve thought about it and-” he started.

I held up my hands, cutting him off. “Let’s just cut the bullshit, Okay. I followed your friend Tommy all week. He never got near your wife.”

Return Tomorrow for the rest of the story.